My Year of Adventurous Eating

A Crab In The Hand… October 5, 2011

Filed under: Next!,Random Thoughts (or sometimes maybe not so random),Restaurants — PhobicFoodie @ 12:26 pm

Last Friday was Crab Day.

Oh yes.

Yes, it was.

Now, I’ve spent enough time around dirty minds to know that there are many jokes to be made about crabs.

However, the jokes that came to my mind were downright wholesome compared to the puns being made at Joe’s Crab Shack!

I’m not saying it wasn’t fun, but…

It was appalling!

This is a family friendly website, so I’ll just leave it to you to ponder what those jokes may have been.  Or you can go to Joe’s Crab Shack with a fun loving group of adults and find out for yourself!

I’d spent the day trying to work up some excitement about the crab, but try as I might I had a difficult time getting myself amped up for it.  However, the moment we opened our car doors in the Joe’s Crab Shack parking lot, Joe’s took over the task of getting me excited about crab.

They did a mighty fine job of it too.

Rock music rolled out of the speakers into the parking lot and drew us up to the front door.  The goofy, vaguely nautical theme inside was punctuated by merchandise printed with the aforementioned suggestive jokes all pertaining to crab.  It was like entering Spongebob Squarepants’ house, but for grownups.

Betcha a lot of parents have to answer a lot of awkward questions when they bring their kids to Joe’s!

We were immediately ushered to a table in the back large enough to accommodate our party of nine and before we knew it a tall, lanky gal in blue was screaming a welcome over the music

“Are you ready for crab?!!?”


and explaining there was invisible silverware in the buckets before us,

“We are currently out of clean silverware!!”

“YEA–…wait, what?”

Then reviewing the extensive menu with us,

“There’s crab, crab, crab, crab and crab.  If you are wanting something other than crab, there is also crab!”

(I might be paraphrasing a little. )

and then warning us that we’d better get our drink on before we lost our nerve…

“Who wants some booze?!?”


Or maybe that last part was my imagination.  But I took the advice regardless and ordered the most beautiful strawberry margarita.  It came in a large glass mason jar imprinted with a crab on one side and “Joe’s Crab Shack” on the other.

*Hint:  you get to keep the mason jar!*


As the sweet, liquid moxy slid down my throat I found that I was suddenly Extremely.  Wound.  Up.

Oh my.

Hubby and I ordered a classic bucket o’ crab that included snow crab, Dungeness crab, and a pile of shrimp that hubby had to polish off without me.

Because I haven’t HAD my shrimp challenge yet, THAT’S WHY!!

It came sprinkled with a blend of seasonings which, while not unpleasant tasting, didn’t really compliment the flavor of the crab.

But that was my fault.  I was too much of a pansy to get the plain steamed crab and just eat it with butter.  I just wanted some other sort of flavor in there.

The plates arrived first with nutcrackers and little yellow meat pickers.

Something told me they wouldn’t mind if everyone kept their meat pickers.

Next the bucket of crab arrived, steaming and exciting and positively bristling with crab legs.

And that’s where I met the first road block.

Even after chugging the better part of my beverage, I found that I absolutely could not bring myself to break a crab leg off the body.

Couldn’t do it!

After several minutes of agonizing, Hubby finally took pity on me and pulled a leg off the Dungeness crab.  He set it on the plate before me, stuck the nutcracker in my hand and said

“You better get crackin’!”

I’m just kidding.  He didn’t say that.  He’d never say anything that cheesy.

But, you know, that’s what I would have said.

I picked up the leg and tried to steel myself to crack into it.

That’s when hubby decided to lean over and point out all the little hairs on it.

I promptly put the leg back in the bucket and pleaded with hubby to get me a snow crab leg instead!

I had mildly better success with the snow crab.

I say “mildly” because I did eventually get to eat some of it.  However, it took me about ten minutes to work up the courage to break into that shell with the nutcracker.

Exoskeletons are disgusting.

It’s like crushing an extremely large bug.

But grosser.

Having finally cracked into the shell and broken part of the leg off, I dug into it with the meat picker.  I pulled out some white stringy stuff.  Then I pulled out some more white stringy stuff.  Then finally I leaned over to hubby and whispered

“Which is the part you eat?”

“You’ve got it there!  That’s the crab meat!”


It looks like the inside of a tauntaun!

But if I can eat mussels and rattlesnake and fungus, I can eat me some crab!

I gave it a good dousing in butter and put it in my mouth.  Here is what I tasted:


Everyone was staring at me.

“Well?  How is it?  What do you think?”

“It would be better if it was still hot.”


I worked my way through one snow crab leg, then a claw, and by then I’d gathered up the courage to try some Dungeness, icky little hairs notwithstanding.

Hubby chose that moment to show me the trick that makes the end of the leg move up and down and twitch.


Then my best gal pal Theresa offered me a mussel, and guess what?  I ate it.  And it was tasty.  I think I like them now.

The Dungeness tasted just like the snow crab.  Which is exactly what Theresa had told me before.

You were right, Theresa!

I should never have doubted.

By the end of the last leg I was enjoying the crab, but not so much the cracking.  I decided it might have been wiser to begin with crab meat already out of the shell, then work my way up to the stuff at Joe’s.

Then again, sometimes it’s better to just jump into the deep end, right?

And I’d definitely eat it again.
I’d even eat it a Joe’s again.
The atmosphere was great for a large, noisy group, and very energetic and fun.  And our waitress was great and made the experience really enjoyable from beginning to end!


We’re all moved and mostly settled and we love our new place.

Which means…

I finally know where all my pots and pans are!

Which means

I can finally start cooking again!

Which means….!!!!


Stay tuned!


One Response to “A Crab In The Hand…”

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